Coming to a Table Near You: Swarm of Fries – The Menu
Inspired by Derrik’s recent pilgrimage to Richmond’s GWARbar (Pour a little out for Oderus Urungus. Rest in power, Dave Brockie!), the Swarm of Eyes guys had the brilliant idea to totally rip off the concept open an eatery of their own.
They considered it.
But then they lost the motivation to do so — especially since they’re going to be too busy playing a series of three gigs on their Octoburnt Tour and are preparing to record a brand new EP in November.
Before reality (and apathy) set in, the Eyes guys put together a menu of potentially palatable entrees, appetizers, and deserts, named after songs on their debut album, Designing the Dystopia, (that you can buy here!) . Take a peek at what could have been and just be grateful these guys are sticking to playing music. Bon appetite!
Amazeballz Appetizerz (with a “z”)
Punish the Artichoke Dipper
Behold a golden brown baked bread bowl fashioned into the shape of a bull and crammed with creamy spinach and artichoke dip. So good you’ll bellow for more!
Soup of My Last Salvation
Sometimes, there’s nothing more comforting than a bowl of soup. Let our seasonal selection of soups be the salvation for your dark, doomy, metal soul.
Nothing More I Can Eat: All-You-Can-Eat Options
Endless Ashes Smokey BBQ Spare Ribs
Meaty, fall-off-the-bone pork ribs, slathered in a rich, smokey honey BBQ sauce. Keep going back for more.
Journey to the Endless End of the Salad Bar
Stick to your diet with an endless array delectable of salad fixin’s. Except for celery. Celery is bullshit. And so is bleu cheese.
Til Death for Gravy Pasta Bar
Some people think gravy is brown. But if you’re a Swarm of Eye-talian, you know that “gravy” means a rich tomato sauce that perfectly clings to your pasta. Choose from Metal Marinara, Bad Ass Bolognese, or Ass-Kicking Alfredo sauces over your favorite variety of pasta. Load it onto your plate and go back for seconds or thirds!
Bitchin’ Big Bites
Beef of the Serpent
Sink your teeth into a half-pound burger covered with melted extra sharp cheddar, applewood smoked bacon, avocado, serpentine crispy French onions, and a garlic-aoli mayo. You’ll have sworn you sold your soul to eat something this damn good.
Served with your choice Swarm of Fries: curly fries, steak fries, shoestring fries, waffle fries, or crinkle-cut fries. Make it a real swarm of fries and just ask for us to put all the types of fries on your plate while you shovel this beastly burger into your gaping maw.
Humanemic Halibut
Caught fresh from the shores of New England, this flaky fish is served with a light, buttery dill sauce with sides of roasted potatoes and asparagus. It’s delicious. And brutal. Really brutal. We can’t stress that enough.
The Day the Chef Went Mad
Even we don’t know what the hell this is! Could it be Veal Marsala? Paella? Chicken Florentine? Meatloaf? Ask your server what our chef decided to throw together and take your chances on whether or not you want to eat it.
Tell Your Gob to Ready for More… Desert!
Warscone
An onslaught of a desert, this dense, buttery pastry is packed with blood-red raspberries and sprinkled with sugar — like the sweet, sweet spoils of war. We recommend pairing this with teas from our Warm of Eyes collection, featuring Metal Mint, Cataclysmic Chamomile. and Earl Grim black tea.
Enter the Circle Chocolate Lava Cake
Enter the circle. It’s made of chocolate and filled with even more chocolate — a deep, dark chocolate truffle filling that’s still warm. A beatdown for your belly, we suggest enjoying this culinary metal masterpiece with coffee from our Warm of Eyes assortment, featuring Humanemic Hazelnut (Yes. We know we’ve used “Humanemic” for our halibut. But it’s our record label, too. Deal with it.), Irish Irecreamable, and Shadows at Dusk Dark Roast.
Disappointed Swarm of Fries will not be sucking up space in a strip mall near you? Buck up, cupcake! The boys are cooking up a mess of tasty tracks for you to enjoy in 2016 (or sooner!) and will be serving up metal with a side of thrash and doom at an East Coast venue near you this October. Stay tuned for more!
Swarm of Eyes to Play Cancer Benefit with the Reunited Austen’s Dead
On Saturday November 30th, Swarm of Eyes will take part in a live benefit show at Presidents Rock Club in Quincy, MA. All proceeds from the show will go to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, a leader in adult and pediatric cancer research and treatment. The band joins a reunited “Legend of the Swedish Nanny’s Torso”-era lineup Austen’s Dead and local favorites Salacious Crumb and Mock the Earthquake — united in metal and united in the fight against cancer.
Swarm of Eyes vocalist Randy Carter stated that the band “is proud to have been added to such an amazing show, and all for a great cause. A very good friend of all the bands playing has been battling breast cancer for the past few years, so it is something that hits home with everyone on the bill, and why we asked to be added to the lineup. For those who aren’t familiar with Austen’s Dead, it’s only a cause like this that could get them to rise from the ashes and resurrect for their first show in 18 years. This will be a once in a lifetime spectacle, you can count on it.”
These four bands on the bill have more in common that a love of cool t-shirts and rubber squeaky toys. No siree, Bob! These guys have a history that feels like the New England punk/metal/hardcore version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Austen’s Dead bassist, Roach, was once in a band with several current members of Mock the Earthquake. Swarm of Eyes guys Randy and Derrik used to be in a little band called Motokops 2000 (Maybe you’ve heard of them? *crickets*) that covered the Austen’s Dead classic, “Legs Like Wings.” And Salacious Crumb — dubbed “The Least Hardest Working Band In All of Show Business” opened for several of these bands and hung around and drank a lot.
Yes. There is a history here, my friends.
That historic legacy continues on November 30th as these four bands come together for a night of memorable metal in the name of a great cause. Swarm of Eyes also plans to join Austen’s Dead on-stage for a live performance of “Legs Like Wings,” too. (And pending Randy eating delicious, cheesy-beefy burritos less than two hours before showtime, there’s a good chance his dinner will make an appearance on-stage, too!)
All kidding aside, this promises to be a great show for a great cause. Tickets can be purchased for $8 at the door the night of the 21+ event. Showtime begins at 8pm. Get there early to catch all the action and help in the fight to stomp out cancer.
Swarm of Eyes Delivers a Night of Old School Metal to O’Brien’s in Allston
Even with a scant 12 days’ notice, Swarm of Eyes churned out a heaping helping of good, old fashioned metal at O’Brien’s in Allston, MA on May 26th. It was an old school night replete with camo shorts and black t-shirts — not to mention ear-melting riffs from not just Swarm of Eyes, but Splatter Effect, Apollo’s Resurrection, and Give Zombies The Vote, who also gave a clinic on everything metal should be.
Swarm of Eyes’ cover of The Misfits’ “Skulls” is fast becoming a crowd favorite, with most in attendance singing along.
Swarm of Eyes would like to thank Give Zombies the Vote for inviting them to play the show. The band was happy to meet and make so many new fans and friends at O’Brien’s and hopes everyone had a great weekend honoring the memory of our soldiers.