A Holiday Letter From Swarm of Eyes
In the spirit of the season — and those awful family newsletters of yore that people you only heard from once a year sent to humblebrag to everyone in their Rolodex — Swarm of Eyes would like to share a year-end wrap up with our fans, family, and friends. Gather ’round the Yule log and allow us to regale you with tales of our triumphs from the year that has passed. Sit back, grab some eggnog, and enjoy our gift to you. (Hey, it beats the Belly Button Lint of the Month Club!)
Dear Swarmies,
Ah, yes! There is a touch of magic in the air and all the mice are in baggies! (I have no idea what that means, but it’s something dear old Great Uncle Cyril used to say after he got into the holiday bottle of Rock n’ Rye.) While rodents may or may not be nestled all snug in their plastic Ziplock enclosures, there truly is a glimmer of metal magic in the air and 2013 was full of many memorable moments for Swarm of Eyes.
For starters, Swarm of Eyes played lots and lots of live gigs. (Shame on you if you weren’t able to make it out to one!) The band even managed to traipse along part of the East coast on a jaunty little mini-tour. (Let us know in the comments where you live and if you’d like Swarm of Eyes to come visit you … like Krampus times five!)
Swarm of Eyes had the privilege of sharing the stage with some of the best dag-nabbit bands on the scene today, including Acaro and Death Ray Vision, to name just a few. One of the gigs the band was most proud to play was a benefit show alongside a reunited Austen’s Dead in which all proceeds went to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.
Yes, yes. We know the mighty, mighty Swarm has been burning it up on the live metal scene. “But what about that second studio album,” you ask? “Surely, the Swarm cannot just on playing material from their outstanding debut, Designing the Dystopia (available in the band’s online store for the low, low price of $12.01 — which includes shipping and handling)!”
The band acknowledges that they’ve thrown their sizable fan base (967 Facebook likes! Woot!) a few bones in the form of some face-melting live covers of Ramones and Misfits songs. But what about the legions of Swarmies worldwide without the benefit of seeing their beloved band live? When will they get a chance to hear some new music by their most favorite-est of favorite bands?
Swarmies the world over will be pleased to learn that Swarm of Eyes is hard at work beginning to prepare to commence writing songs for their new album, due to be released sometime this decade. Rejoice!
But enough about the band! What about the loveable lads who comprise this fantabulous five-some? (Holy Halford! Is this starting to read like a rejected voice-over from a Metalocalypse episode?!) Here’s what each of the Swarm of Eyes’ guys have been up to in 2013:
Vocalist Randy Carter made it a full year without tossing his cookies onstage. Admittedly, there was a close call that one time when he had an obscene amount of Mexican food mere hours before playing a show. However, Randy valiantly held back the honk in the name of metal and sang on.
Guitarist George O’Connor penned yet another awesome indie comic, published by Homeless Comics. In “Baby,” a cryptozoologist, a soon-to-be-retired cop, and a monster from the deep meet at the Jersey shore. Interested Swarmies can download the first 8 pages of the story for free on the Homeless Comics website.
Guitarist Derrik Albertelli, that international man of mystery, has kept busy this year by reading, expanding his already-impressive vocabulary, and posting some of the most entertaining Facebook posts the Inturwebz has seen. Truly, social media’s best-kept secret. (Until now.)
Bassist Jeff Grossman has earned the distinction of being the only metal bassist with an A.) light-up fretboard, B.) background in Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu, C.) cadre of very sharp swords, and D.) so thorough an understanding of The Silmarillion that Peter Jackson must bow before him. You go, Glen Coco!
And last, but not least, drummer Tommy Burke has once again put the “boo boo” in his nickname of “Boo Boo Blackstone.” Tommy, unfortunately, did a number on his pedal foot, forcing him to be sidelined from his kit for a few weeks. Stories as to how Tommy sustained his injury range from falling off his unicycle to accidentally hitting his foot against the coffee table while Sweatin’ to the Oldies. The world may never know, but the band and Swarmies alike sure are grateful that Tommy has made a full recovery.
That about wraps it up for The Year That Was in 2013 for Swarm of Eyes. The band looks forward to creating new music, playing for new fans and old friends, and pimping a ton of new merchandise in 2014.
All kidding aside: From Swarm of Eyes to you and yours, we wish you a very happy holiday and a joyous, healthy, and prosperous New Year! Merry Metalmas!