Inspired by Derrik’s recent pilgrimage to Richmond’s GWARbar (Pour a little out for Oderus Urungus. Rest in power, Dave Brockie!), the Swarm of Eyes guys had the brilliant idea to
totally rip off the concept open an eatery of their own.
They considered it.
But then they lost the motivation to do so — especially since they’re going to be too busy playing a series of three gigs on their Octoburnt Tour and are preparing to record a brand new EP in November.
Before reality (and apathy) set in, the Eyes guys put together a menu of potentially palatable entrees, appetizers, and deserts, named after songs on their debut album, Designing the Dystopia, (that you can buy here!) . Take a peek at what could have been and just be grateful these guys are sticking to playing music. Bon appetite!
Amazeballz Appetizerz (with a “z”)
Punish the Artichoke Dipper
Behold a golden brown baked bread bowl fashioned into the shape of a bull and crammed with creamy spinach and artichoke dip. So good you’ll bellow for more!
Soup of My Last Salvation
Sometimes, there’s nothing more comforting than a bowl of soup. Let our seasonal selection of soups be the salvation for your dark, doomy, metal soul.
Nothing More I Can Eat: All-You-Can-Eat Options
Endless Ashes Smokey BBQ Spare Ribs
Meaty, fall-off-the-bone pork ribs, slathered in a rich, smokey honey BBQ sauce. Keep going back for more.
Journey to the Endless End of the Salad Bar
Stick to your diet with an endless array delectable of salad fixin’s. Except for celery. Celery is bullshit. And so is bleu cheese.
Til Death for Gravy Pasta Bar
Some people think gravy is brown. But if you’re a Swarm of Eye-talian, you know that “gravy” means a rich tomato sauce that perfectly clings to your pasta. Choose from Metal Marinara, Bad Ass Bolognese, or Ass-Kicking Alfredo sauces over your favorite variety of pasta. Load it onto your plate and go back for seconds or thirds!
Bitchin’ Big Bites
Beef of the Serpent
Sink your teeth into a half-pound burger covered with melted extra sharp cheddar, applewood smoked bacon, avocado, serpentine crispy French onions, and a garlic-aoli mayo. You’ll have sworn you sold your soul to eat something this damn good.
Served with your choice Swarm of Fries: curly fries, steak fries, shoestring fries, waffle fries, or crinkle-cut fries. Make it a real swarm of fries and just ask for us to put all the types of fries on your plate while you shovel this beastly burger into your gaping maw.
Caught fresh from the shores of New England, this flaky fish is served with a light, buttery dill sauce with sides of roasted potatoes and asparagus. It’s delicious. And brutal. Really brutal. We can’t stress that enough.
The Day the Chef Went Mad
Even we don’t know what the hell this is! Could it be Veal Marsala? Paella? Chicken Florentine? Meatloaf? Ask your server what our chef decided to throw together and take your chances on whether or not you want to eat it.
Tell Your Gob to Ready for More… Desert!
An onslaught of a desert, this dense, buttery pastry is packed with blood-red raspberries and sprinkled with sugar — like the sweet, sweet spoils of war. We recommend pairing this with teas from our Warm of Eyes collection, featuring Metal Mint, Cataclysmic Chamomile. and Earl Grim black tea.
Enter the Circle Chocolate Lava Cake
Enter the circle. It’s made of chocolate and filled with even more chocolate — a deep, dark chocolate truffle filling that’s still warm. A beatdown for your belly, we suggest enjoying this culinary metal masterpiece with coffee from our Warm of Eyes assortment, featuring Humanemic Hazelnut (Yes. We know we’ve used “Humanemic” for our halibut. But it’s our record label, too. Deal with it.), Irish Irecreamable, and Shadows at Dusk Dark Roast.
Disappointed Swarm of Fries will not be sucking up space in a strip mall near you? Buck up, cupcake! The boys are cooking up a mess of tasty tracks for you to enjoy in 2016 (or sooner!) and will be serving up metal with a side of thrash and doom at an East Coast venue near you this October. Stay tuned for more!
This past Saturday May 5th at the legendary Ralph’s Rock Diner in Worcester, Swarm of Eyes gave (according to lead singer Randy Carter) “the hands-down best show we’ve ever played” (which, coming from Randy, is like saying “Hey! I almost passed the 5th grade!”).
Ralph’s was packed to near-capacity for The River Neva’s release party and video shoot for their single, “Night of the Long Knives.” Swarm of Eyes joined such bands as Acaro, Sabado Gigante, Seven Minute Stagger, and The Black Heart Epidemic in performing live at the release party celebrating The River Neva’s debut disc, Chemistry of Holocaust.
Swarm of Eyes played a solid set, highlighted by a brutal mosh pit during the song “Warzone,” which is fast-becoming a live crowd favorite. The Eyes guys were joined onstage by Acaro’s Chris Harrell on their cover of “Skulls” by The Misfits and (again) on a cover of The Ramones’ classic, “Blitzkrieg Bop.” Karen Gizzie of Still Aggravated also joined Harrell and Swarm of Eyes on “Blitzkrieg Bop,” the band’s final song of their set.
Throughout the night, The River Neva raffled off numerous prizes, including a Schecter guitar and a Swarm of Eyes t-shirt/CD combo package.
It was a tremendous night of not just great, new, original music by an extremely talented group of bands, but the support these bands on the New England scene have for one another is even more astounding. Swarm of Eyes was happy to be a part of such a terrific show, and for all of the new fans and friends they met and made that night.
Swarm of Eyes looks forward to playing for their fans at a string of upcoming shows which have been slated for the summer months ahead. New dates can be found on the band’s tour page — with a more surprises and details to come! Stay tuned!